Friday, June 30, 2017

Man Décor


Andrew has been living at the lounge while I was on the road and until he and Victoria find a house and finally live together after his 3 year his sojourn at Grad school.
. I see he did a bit of man décor in my absence. He has displayed his Fiskars axe in the kitchen. A lesser man would have parked  it in my garage or perhaps down the basement but no this is a prize possession. I gave Andrew the axe as a parting gift the summer he stayed and worked here. I personalized by writing in silver indelible ink Andrew “Bitch” Kellner. Not because of his bitching and whining but because he called himself my bitch because he did all the grunt work around here. Mostly he split a lot of wood that was just to nasty for this senior’s body.
A Fiskars axe is a piece of art. It is one of the few products I know of that is guaranteed for life. Now that is a big claim unless you have a great product. My pots I guarantee for life. When I did more production work I remember taking back pie plates that had cracked. There was an obvious sign of the electric burner ring on the bottom so I told them again never to put the pie plate on an element. They would assure me that they hadn’t.   It is better to keep a customer than have to find a new one.
When Andrew gets his new house I’ll be interested to see his man décor. Fiskar axe in the kitchen in case he over cooks his steak, his new Fluke pyrometer in the bedroom to measure the heat, the stand up Dremel tool in the bathroom to fill in as a electric tooth brush, the heavy duty Husquavarna chain saw would make a nice conversation piece for the coffee table and as a focal point of the living room he has a beautiful yellow oak treadle wheel.
Then he is going to be moving back here because his wife will have kicked him out. Biologically speaking if something bites you it’s more likely to be female.
Revised Man’s Prayer-Church of The Cactus Lounge
I am a man.
I cannot change.
So bugger off.
Amen.

In the year of our Lord 2017

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