Racoons for Sale

Our house was built in 1885 and the studio we're rebuilding is like opening a can of worms. The building we thought had been a boarding house for squirrels turns out to be the Hell's Angels headquarters of the hood- racoons. We have torn the entire ceiling out by now and yes there is no mistaking the size of that poop indicates coons. The reason the lights didn't work was that Rocky Racoon had chewed through the wires.
So we all know there ain't much money in pottery so my new idea is to trap friggin' coons and sell them to pet lovers.  I can't shoot them without fear of doing hard time in an orange jump suit in a place where I just might be the cutest of the pack and this time that would be  a baaaaaaaaaaaaad thing. There were some good squirrel recipes so now how about coon! Ya know when I was a kid I had a Davy Crocket hat my dad bought me at Niagara Falls with a real racoon tail. I've always been a lover of hats. I wonder if the animal lovers would object to racoons without tails. My job at Sheridan is coming to a close so I have to get entrepreneurial again. Pets or hats???????????????????


Dennis Allen said…
Raccoon with bourbon

Place raccoon in a 350 degree F oven and roast til tender.Drink bourbon 'til you don't care that you are eating coon.Serve with sweet potatoes and more bourbon.
smokieclennell said…
Dennis: I want to eat at your house. You are my kinda guy.
Let's all go to Dennis' house! We'll have a pot-luck and I'll bring a little squirrel stew.
June Perry said…
Here you go Tony - a bunch of raccoon recipes from Back Woods bound. :-)

smartcat said…
The raccoons used to come into our garden and left it looking that they had come through on Hogs with scythes. Then we trained the dog!

Raccoon in a stew sounds pretty good!
Tony, I can loan you Elvis our Black &Tan Coon Hound. He loves chasing coons. Its his life.
your pal Mark
Anonymous said…
are you selling these coons.if so e-mail me at osnowden@netzero.com with details and prices
Anonymous said…
my friend is a racoon he likes green bins
Anonymous said…
I'm not sure if this is a joke or not, but these living animals do not deserve to be eaten, worn, or made fun of by these awful comments. If you were a raccoon would you really want to be torn to pieces, made fun of, and oh right eaten?!

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