All Hell Broke Loose

Jack, Scratch, Itch, The Pastor and the rest of the cast crammed into my Rav 4 and we headed out to an Antique Market in Woodstock, Ontario. This is not to be confused with Yasger’s Farm in Woodstock, NY with Country Joe and the Fish. and Richie Havens singing “Freedom”. The market was actually 99% junk that was labelled antique. Low and behold there was an old piece of junk made by moi probably about 1980.

When the family got home for dinner the Pastor blessed our table and they lam basted me with a no holds’ barred critique of that pot. Scratch lead the pack and told me it was the ugliest item in the market of probably hundreds, no thousands, no hundreds of thousands of pieces of crap. They called it boring, uninteresting, and peppered it with foul mouthed insults.  Even worse they collectively referred to it as eye pollution.  It was a wine cooler I made back in the 80’s when they were fashionable.  Scratch commented on the lump or kinda curve at the top and the horribly bad copper red glaze. He asked what that kinda curve at the top was all about? What the hell were you

thinking??   Jack broke his silence and suggested we rid the world of this aesthetically challenged vessel. He’s choosing his words carefully around me today.

We all paraded the pot out to the garage where we took turns taking swings with the hammer. For the cost of $12.50 I had exorcised the planet of one really ugly pot. We went back to the dinner table and lifted our glasses to a cleaner, better and more beautiful world.

They had been ruthless with me but I was happy as a clam to have my family in full dialogue.

For those of you that are worried that I am lonely all I can tell you is that Bobby Vinton’s  Mr. Lonely left my life sometime ago and went on tour as the pianist for Canadian musician Hawksley Workman.