When a woman leaves ya!

Jen Drysdale has been dropping in here  at The Cactus Lounge for the past couple of weeks with back to back wood firings and unloadings. Each time she arrives she has more greens in her bags. My fridge had started to look like a rain forest. I couldn't find the meat or the beer. At night when I got up for a squirt and a drink of water I would open the fridge door to a cascade of cherry tomatoes. I had an English cucumber fall out and  hit me on the big toe. I have had waterfalls of baby spinach lettuce and salad greens to clean up off the kitchen floor with my sleep filled eyes.  There are apples, oranges, lemons, limes  and all kinds of horribly healthy things taking up meat space. Geezus there are three types of salad dressings and none of them include a rash of bacon.
One thing I was sure to do. I had Jen remove the toxic waste from the fridge. Out with the Baba gamoose, the humus, the lentils , the yucky stinky bad breath

stuff that I feared would enter into the framework of my house and kill me. Jen get that shit outta here !  Gawd, Ed come for a visit and I'll feed ya some man food. You're being tortured, dude!
There are many, many good reasons to live the single life- putting the meat stick before the carrot is  just one of them.
I've had salad three nights in a row. I feel my nose twitching like a rabbit's and I keep looking up at the sky in fear of hawks. I do like those cherry tomatoes though for pitching at the feral cat that sits under my bird feeder. If he keeps coming back I got an orange that is beginning to mold I'm going to lame bast him with.